Last night I performed at Toby’s Pub & Grill for my friend Hussein’s birthday show. It was a lot of fun! All the musical acts were really freaking good and I got to see a bunch of friends that I don’t see that often. It was my first time performing completely solo so I was nervous. I think I sounded good because well, it felt good and I got some really good and specific compliments about my singing and songs afterward. My only issue is the response I get while I’m on stage.
Now I do not blame the audience at all. I know that I am seriously lacking any sort of stage presence. When I’m actively singing I feel great; I get completely lost in my songs and it’s wonderful, but the instant I am done singing I feel like I disappear. It didn’t help that I went up after my good friend and bandmate Jess Cullen who has presence coming out her ass…..I dunno, that’s an odd analogy, but she’s awesome! But even so I get up there and I say hello in my regular voice, I can’t even really look at the audience without feeling like an awkward teenager making accidental eye contact with the hot guy from a couple years above that you would never speak to.
At one point I tried to specifically speak to an audience member in the front row who I am friends with and she didn’t respond because she didn’t notice I was talking to her, so I tried another friend and also got no response! No exaggeration! I even said their names a few times. Fortunately a stranger felt bad for me or something and responded instead. By the end I had given up on saying anything at all. When I was done I think ended with, “that’s all for me” and just kind of ran off stage. ugh!
Any pointers anyone?
I just keep thinking about Drag U and how that show creates drag personas for women so they can feel kickass. Maybe it’s time to channel your inner drag queen?
This is also why I love dance performances – you just do your moves and get the hell off the stage. 🙂
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